That Timex Ironman was a really slick move. A minimalist, analogue Timex on a ribbon or leather strap can “look expensive and fancy” but there is absolutely no doubt that a digital watch on a rubber strap is the “frugal” and “practical” choice.

I’m a sucker for cheap and cheery color, so I look fondly on bright silicone smartwatch bands. Like badly customized cars, they at least show some interest in the thing, and expression beyond standard issue conformity.

It was already hard to be a fashion magazine, as trends were already glacial and derivative. The old “…with a twist!” trope has been the template forever. I think I scrapped the bit about how the
product placement and shilling of these magazines was transparently obvious even to my oblivious and impressionable teen self.

The message here is not to sell the watch to the reader but to sell the hype such that the monied fools considering an RM are assured that their purchase will be properly recognized by the common people.

I was going to make an aside about the habit of male American politicians tending to aim for very unassuming workaday appearances, but some concession to concision was needed. The notion of even a state governor needing a watch, when an army of aides watches the clock for you, is a bit disingenuous, but the no-nonsense signaling can’t be denied.

The thing that I really hate is when a man will pose for a photo, a normal photo where the watch is not the focus, and conscientiously raise sleeves and position the wrist just so, because that watch must be highlighted!

RIchard Mille is unparalleled for being a joke that everyone thinks they are in on, and the odd part is everybody may be right, or at least not wrong.

Post-pandemic, we are all The Big Lebowski.

Also I feel as though Apple/FitBit/Samsung/Garmin ubiquity coupled with the sartorial parking brake applied by 18 months’ quasi house arrest have effectively ended whatever fashion rules remained, for suits and watches alike.

So: A challenge for a lifestyle mag for which the foundation rests on building up and testing down said rules. Note that GQ’s definition of staccare implies that the reader would already have cause to wear a tailored suit and thus have need a staccare element.

Still wearing Pandemic Casual? You don’t have a tailored suit OR the goofy-ass designer watch to ruin the effect? Turn the page for the latest!

Real world. Your Garmin probably pairs fine with your hoodie in the eyes of your grocery check-out clerk.